Every year, thousands of families are affected in some way by
divorce. Children whose parents are divorcing experience a tremendous amount of
stress and frustration. Many factors will have an impact on how the child
reacts to the stresses, such as their age and the particular circumstances
surrounding the divorce.
Divorce is stressful for every member of the family, but particularly for
the children. They might feel angry or upset with their parents. Some
of them might even shoulder the blame onto themselves, believing that
they were the reason for their parents’ break-up. You can help your
children cope with the divorce by providing them reassurance, stability,
and maintaining your daily routine.
How Should I Tell My Children?
Understandably, you might be at a loss for words on how to break the news
to your children about your divorce. Some parents choose to gloss over
the situation, but this neither healthy nor is it helpful, as the lack
of communication will only add to your children’s stress and confusion.
Here are some suggestions on how to approach this:
- Be truthful and straight to the point. You could say, “Mom and Dad
can’t live together anymore” for younger children. If you
have older children, then they may want to know more details. You do not
have to give them a full explanation, but simple statements can help them
put the matter into perspective.
- Do not say anything negative about your spouse in front of them. The can
feel the conflict, adding to their anxiety. In some cases, they might
feel as though they will have to pick a side.
- Reassure them that your love for them remains unchanged. It might also
help to remind them that your ex loves them just as equally.
- Let them know exactly what will change and how they should prepare for
those changes in the future. It will also be comforting to remind them
that many other things will remain the same for them.
Also, do not be afraid to let your child express their emotions. One of
the ways families heal is by acknowledging their feelings. You may be
surprised to learn how resilient your children can be once the communication
is clear and there is ample room for all to let the news settle.
Have Questions? Contact Us!
At Coffinas & Lusthaus, P.C., our Brooklyn divorce lawyers possess
more than 50 years of experience helping families cope their divorce matter. We are a small, intimate firm
that provides compassionate, attentive legal support. We care about your
needs, particularly if you and your spouse share children. Let us help
you work out a practical solution to your divorce matter.
Coffinas & Lusthaus, P.C. is
ready to help you. Give us a call today: (718) 717-1005.