Every year, thousands of families are affected in some way by divorce. Children whose parents are divorcing experience a tremendous amount of stress and frustration. Many factors will have an impact on how the child reacts to the stresses, such as their age and the particular circumstances surrounding the divorce.
Divorce is stressful for every member of the family, but particularly for the children. They might feel angry or upset with their parents. Some of them might even shoulder the blame onto themselves, believing that they were the reason for their parents’ break-up. You can help your children cope with the divorce by providing them reassurance, stability, and maintaining your daily routine.
How Should I Tell My Children?
Understandably, you might be at a loss for words on how to break the news to your children about your divorce. Some parents choose to gloss over the situation, but this neither healthy nor is it helpful, as the lack of communication will only add to your children’s stress and confusion.
Here are some suggestions on how to approach this:
- Be truthful and straight to the point. You could say, “Mom and Dad can’t live together anymore” for younger children. If you have older children, then they may want to know more details. You do not have to give them a full explanation, but simple statements can help them put the matter into perspective.
- Do not say anything negative about your spouse in front of them. The can feel the conflict, adding to their anxiety. In some cases, they might feel as though they will have to pick a side.
- Reassure them that your love for them remains unchanged. It might also help to remind them that your ex loves them just as equally.
- Let them know exactly what will change and how they should prepare for those changes in the future. It will also be comforting to remind them that many other things will remain the same for them.
Also, do not be afraid to let your child express their emotions. One of the ways families heal is by acknowledging their feelings. You may be surprised to learn how resilient your children can be once the communication is clear and there is ample room for all to let the news settle.
Have Questions? Contact Us!
At Coffinas & Lusthaus, P.C., our Brooklyn divorce lawyers possess more than 50 years of experience helping families cope their divorce matter. We are a small, intimate firm that provides compassionate, attentive legal support. We care about your needs, particularly if you and your spouse share children. Let us help you work out a practical solution to your divorce matter.
Coffinas & Lusthaus, P.C. is ready to help you. Give us a call today: (718) 717-1005.